We went through the first instance of the term-end ritual of professor evaluations this morning in my Preserving Information class, filling in circles on Scantron forms with stubby pencils to register our feelings about the course. That is the real signal that the finish line is fast approaching. Up till now it had all been rumor and speculation and calendar-watching. But tomorrow it will be just two weeks until my final final exam as a Michigan student.
I’ve been increasingly longing for it all to be over, which when I really think about it is somewhat strange, since when the structure of school is gone it’s going to be hard to adjust. But I’ve felt overtaxed and stressed in a way this term that I haven’t felt any of the other terms. Part of it may be that I’m not completely gaga about my coursework this term; I’m learning quite a lot, as always, but I have moments of heavy indifference about it all, as I’m sure most of my SI colleagues do sometimes. Part of it may be that the pile-on of coursework demands at the end seems more brutal and relentless this term. Part of it may also be the knowledge that it’s almost over, which is surreal — grad school has so completely dominated my life for the past two years that it’s kind of like getting out of boot camp. And part of it may be just lack of sleep — I stumbled around campus like a zombie all day yesterday and came close to keeling over two or three times.
I recall avidly following an SI student’s blog the spring before I moved here, hoping to glean bits of insight about how to deal with what was coming. She dropped off the face of the earth in the last few months of her time at SI, not blogging more than two or three entries for months on end, and I wondered what had happened to her.
This is what happened to her.