Crashing waves of anxiety, depression, nausea and panic. Not much else to report. Grad school is running better than expected, yet I’m not that happy with the program so far. More on that over in the ‘Teach’ section.
But the same old stuff that’s been going on for forty years is happening again: Adjustment Anxiety Disorder, which doesn’t do it or anyone justice. Doesn’t do the pain justice. Doesn’t do the impatience and frustration justice. It’s a clinical bullshit moniker that academics use to label things they can’t figure out.
It will pass, it always does. I’m getting by on a long holiday weekend, Vicodin, Xanax and, tonight, Ambien (although not all together, of course.) I have the first Ambien tonight and am looking forward to it. Will need to be fully knocked out until the alarm rings.
It’s just the usual ride this one out thing. And I really, really, really hate it. I don’t like when the elephant sits on my chest.