Symbionese Anorexic Army

While subbing in the media center of a south central AA middle school today, the latest issue of People came in, featuring the ‘50 Most Beautiful’ yahoos on the planet, headlined by Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, of course.

Two selections catch the eye however; both are the offspring, next-generation of 1970s pop culture people. The first is Josh Ritter, John Ritter’s son. Look for a Three’s Company: The Next Generation movie soon, methinks.

The second is heiress and Symbionese Liberation Army gun moll Patty Hearst’s daughter, and let me just say I have rarely seen a more anorexic-looking apparation in the pages of People. Well, at least not since 30 pages before with Jennifer Aniston’s pics, but you get the idea. I mean, I’ve seen Somalian famine victims in the ‘80s with more meat on their bones.

But isn’t it nice to know that the legacies of John Ritter and Patty Hearst will be with us for another few decades? Of course, if Patty’s offspring doesn’t eat a burger soon, that may not be true.

Listen to me, so catty today. That comes from the gorgeous spring day outside and the deserted, sepulchrous media center inside. The highlight of the day was helping students research old dead presidents this morning and discovering that the school has killer wireless internet access.

Not that I’m complaining. I hadn’t read an issue of People in, oh, say three years. So now I’m caught up on that …